Monday, 5 January 2015
MirMento Mori is taking shape. The world is against me, my keyboard and it's replacement fell victim to some terrible accidents but the story is still in here, these women, the fake ones that I've made my family are screaming to get out no matter how hard it is to do it. Right now I've thought myself into the brain of a 20s Salome veil dancer and I kinda want a hug and someone to tell me they love me because ouch.
It's been a good ten years since a novel possessed me like this. The more of it I write the more important it becomes to me. It's not just the rampant need to solidify my place on this planet, it's the lack of female mainstream transgression and I want to change that. Honestly. I want to make writing rock and roll again.
Enough talking. I know I'm posting disjointed little parts, but that's because the whole text is a sprawling, pulsing, breathing monster that I have to attack from more than one side but it's all starting to come together. Like magic. Like all the pieces of the puzzle. Oof,
Lemme give you some context here. I have all these accounts of these women, linked by their unfortunate needs for ECT at various points in their lives. Therefore it's about female hysteria, overreacting or a way of controlling wild women or what? Maybe it even crosses into feminism but I don't know enough feminist theory to talk about that properly. I don't want to answer those questions, at least not directly, I just want to bring them out so the reader makes their own choice about so called female madness.
So we have Miranda. The main character, sort of falling through a semi-dream-hallucination-seizure in her own treatment, who links them all. She was the hardest to write, but she's done now. I wanted to portray the confusion of the dream world as happy because we often have potential nightmare situations in art that are terrible, and I wanted to subvert the nasty things I'm gonna have to do to the rest of the women in this book to make my damn point with something warm and happy and maybe even preferable to reality??
ANYWAY. This is the part where Miranda, who has found the love of her life there with her along the journey to meet all these electrocuted women in her bloodline, has to say goodbye. I like it. I also think I've talked way too much. Maybe the text should have done the speaking for itself.